Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Business or Hobby? A Life Choice

Business or Hobby?

I look at my life, which has been crammed plum full for the past eight days, and I wonder, "Why this pace? I thought this was retirement." I am so excited by so much that I am doing, launching a new website and constructing a gallery/studio on our property. At the same time I am realizing that something is not right here. Finally, today, it became clear for me. I do not want to build a business. I want to enjoy my photography as a hobby. In some ways, that won't change anything. I will still be doing the things I enjoy doing. It's just that I want to slow it down even more.

I don't want another job, not even my own. I want to play and I want life to be enjoyable. I cringe when Cap (my 82 year old second Dad) says, "Oh, that's too bad," when I am telling him I need to get two more inches of earth out of my future gallery/studio.

I enjoy the labor. I don't need to "arrive" anymore. The promised land to me has to do not with destination, but with journey. I want to enjoy the journey even more fully. If I make some shekels along the way, great. If not, that's ok too, because I want to now limit myself to the $245 I have coming in a month for Social Security. In these tight times I feel ok limiting myself to that and not dipping into family funds at a time where Joyce and I are realizing that we cannot spend as we once did.

It's going to be good for me. I need to ask again the question of whether I want something or need something. It's going to be good for me to have to choose between being able to do another photoshoot or buy the next round of 2x4's for the gallery. It is going to be good for me. I know that. I want to live my life and my hobby in the ways that count most. For me, those "ways" have everything to do with learning to enjoy the two inches of earth that need to be removed.

Love you!